Not a job for home workers

Without wishing to bore those of you who cannot stand televised motor racing (just about all women who might be reading this), a humorous scenario occurred in chez Sheridan on Sunday whilst I was watching the F1 German GP with my youngest son (21).

We were watching the pit stop part of the race where four wheels were being changed by the McLaren mechanics in a phenomenal 2.4 seconds.

Now it’s a bit different down at Kwikfit I know, but then again they are not operating under the scowl of Lewis Hamilton or a fellow driver.

All of this frantic pit stop activity prompted my son to remark of the mechanics, ‘That’s one job you wouldn’t want to be doing if you were badly hung-over’ (he’s a uni under graduate and so has plenty of form when it comes to the effects of a bad hangover).

We then embarked on a humorous exercise of things you wouldn’t want to say as Lewis or one of his driver mates was sitting there expecting something like a 2.4 second pit stop turn around.

We had some fun!

Here is the best of what we came up with in the fleeting moment we thought about it.

Things a pit stop mechanic wouldn’t want to say as a F1 driver awaits new tyres in 2.4 seconds:

• ‘Spanner! I need a spanner! I had one here a minute ago’
• ‘I’ll be with you in a tick. Got to send this text. The missus is asking me to pick up a take away on the way home ’
• ‘Hey! Careful where you throw that wheel. You nearly crushed my sandwiches’
• ‘Just hold my coffee for a moment would you’
• Hey Lewis – got any headache pills to spare?’
• ‘What’s he doing here? I thought it was the next lap?’

Has anyone got anything to add to this list? It’s a rich area!